Deconstruction can be a scary word.
It’s sometimes used derogatorily by fundamentalists as a bogeyman term. It’s often attributed incorrectly by people who don’t really understand it. It’s occasionally feared by people who are starting to question, but are understandably hesitant of what that process might entail.
Deconstruction is the process of exploring the kaleidoscope of colors in the world of religion, after being taught and/or raised to believe everything is black and white.
It’s the (usually unanticipated) loss of the scales from your eyes, and the resulting awareness of the complexity of reality. It is the search for truth in a religious landscape that, based on your own life experiences and education, has proven to contain a desperate lack thereof.
Over the last five years my open deconstruction journey has joyously brought me many new friends. I can share from my perspective what that journey has meant for me and for those I’ve had the pleasure to dialogue with.
What Deconstruction Can Mean
- Taking back authorship of your own life story.
- Holding a sacred book’s truth claims to the same standard as every other book.
- Recognizing the size of a crowd or the strength of tradition does not guarantee correctness.
- Demanding an end to circular arguments. (It’s true because it’s true)
- Realizing an untestable claim is just that. It’s unfalsifiable, which does not necessarily equate to being true.
- Realizing the saying “God is in control” rarely sufficiently explains reality. It just silences questions and avoids accountability.
- Understanding what every denomination calls “absolute truth” is just human interpretation.
- Realizing that Christian Nationalism’s quest to impose “God’s will” is just man usurping God’s authority to impose their own.
- Realizing institutionalized religion is a business that craves influence.
- A business needs $
- More people = more $
- More $ buys more power/influence. Ever notice how the church says you’re supposed to pray for divine intervention if you run short on $, but the church needs and expects your actual real $? And, at least in some churches, will actually track their congregants tithing to ensure that $ is handed over?
- Realizing theologians/pastors that agree to statements of faith to receive a paycheck, are necessarily bound in some capacity from open free discussion and idea consideration. This doesn’t mean they’re inherently wrong, but it does mean you should fact check and digest contrasting information.
- Realizing that living in a fundamentalist bubble from k-12, attending the same denomination’s higher ed facility, and taking a job in a field yet still controlled by that same denomination, isn’t a recipe for critical thought. It’s a formula for doctrinal preservation.
- Realizing you want to live as an independent mind and body, not a vessel for inherited dogma.
- Seeing that “faithful living” is often behavior rooted in fear of punishment, not actual conviction. (This point will have an entire post dedicated to it soon)
What Deconstruction Does NOT Mean
- You are possessed by the devil, or somehow an instrument of the same. (I’ve been called the devil or Satan a few times now. There’s no hate quite like Christian love 😅)
- You think there doesn’t exist any truth. (If this were the case you wouldn’t deconstruct. You’d just walk away.)
- You never had faith to begin with. (Ah yes, the no true Scotsman fallacy. Still incorrect.)
- You think you’re better than anyone else. (Exactly backwards. This is a big reason why many deconstruct, precisely because they finally realize they are not any more special than anyone else.)
- You want to justify some sinful behavior. (Sure. We definitely all get up everyday and think “what can I steal and who can I murder today?”)
- You no longer believe in God. (This could be an end result, but is never the reason for the start of the deconstruction journey.)
- You don’t care about religion. (Same logic as the previous point.)
- You care more about what man says than God. (This one gets me feisty. A big reason why most bother to deconstruct is because they care more about what God said, or didn’t say, than man.)
- You must have been traumatized by “bad people.” (Possible? Yes. True for all? Definitely not.)
- You want to convince people out of their faith. (Most don’t want to convince anyone of anything. They are on their own journey. Mine involves trying to peel back the curtain to help others see clearly on their journeys.)
- You don’t care about your beliefs. (Yet again…deconstruction is the fruit of the tree that is caring about what you believe. It happens because you care so much. Most “believers” rarely read their Bible, let alone read it with a careful and critical contextual mindset.)
- You don’t respect tradition. (This statement is framed in the form of a lie. Looking back at the early church, many modern doctrines are not “tradition.” Yet even then, tradition often =/= absolute truth. )
- You think everything is subjective. (No. We think subjective things are subjective.)
- You have lost your way. (On the contrary. You’ve determined your current course is not the way. You’ve eliminated one incorrect direction and refuse to continue traveling down the wrong road any further.)
What Do I Gain?
Real freedom. That’s what.
Real freedom begins when you can evaluate information and make choices out from under existential fear.
Real freedom begins when you realize you do have full uninhibited free will.
Real freedom begins when you are free to question without judgement or guilt.
Real freedom begins when you start to question things, and the pool of acceptable answers isn’t predetermined by any religious institution’s dogmas.
Real freedom can feel scary at first because there are absolutely no guard rails. There’s no theology police to protect you from going out of bounds or getting lost. It can take a little getting used to. 😉
What Drives Deconstruction?
Some time ago, I was chatting with an old friend about our church. We were lamenting the over-confident proclamations of “we have the truth” or “we are the remnant” that our church spouted. Our desire was for a little humility and humbleness from its social media and pulpit mouthpieces.
What I’ve come to realize since is literally every single person I’ve talked to on this deconstruction journey, has desired the same. Humble open-mindedness to challenging information.
This isn’t the only reason for deconstruction, but it is almost always a big part of the whole picture. This same daft and boastful attitude is at the root of other primary reasons too. A church that doesn’t look or sound like Jesus? Well, they likely have some fairly primitive and rigid takes on interpretation that is bearing that fruit.
The church has a long history of failing to acknowledge uncertainty.
This failure to acknowledge uncertainty is a self-inflicted wound. People who care enough to see beyond the black and white, will push back against that rigidity, and demand real answers. Eventually, if the church isn’t flexible enough (it never is), and doesn’t have plausible answers (it never does), those people will simply depart.
“When you grow up believing that your religious worldview contains the key to absolute truth and provides an answer to every question, you never really get over the disappointment of learning that it doesn’t.” – Rachel Held Evans (RIP)
Each time a national or global event happens and the majority of Christians react in a very un-Christlike and very rigid black and white manner, we witness another nail in the coffin of modern Christianity.
Here’s the plot twist though, and is my theory on the why behind the rigid certainty.
Knowingly or not, most people crave it.
The church is a business, and a business will always cater to their largest and most faithful customer base. They will also avoid doing anything that alienates that customer base (if they’re smart…looking at you Target).
In this case the largest attending group and most faithful givers, the certainty cravers, would be put off by a loss of that certainty.
All of the sudden doctrines are based on mere one-of-multiple viable interpretations? History has other more-plausible explanations? Verses used to justify this or that, likely have nothing to do with this or that?
Those of us who deconstruct would do well to remember this. Our former church is simply preserving itself by catering to its biggest base. It’s not a conspiracy. (I don’t even believe in those 99.99% of the time.) It’s not malicious. It’s not driven by Satan. It’s just normal business behavior and a desire to be ever more influential. Deconstructing individuals are in the minority. (Although due to recent events that minority is certainly growing)
A Real World Example
Let’s look at the SDA church when it comes to women’s ordination. Despite the Adventist Theological Society admitting there is no valid scriptural basis for denying women’s ordination, they continue to avoid the issue head on because “the world isn’t culturally ready.” Yet they keep spouting off this verse:
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” – Romans 12:2 NIV
Which is it SDA church? Are you conforming to the world? It sure seems like you’re conforming to the world. Is your refusal to officially sanction women’s ordination driven by a fear of harming your influence? Your membership level? You already ruled out “God’s will” or “scripture” as the basis for refusal.
Face it. You failed the test. You admitted you failed the test. We know that you know you failed the test. You publicly admitted you knew the correct answer.
A Hopeful Community
The truth can afford to be inspected and questioned. It’s not afraid of examination. It’s not reliant on man to exist. It doesn’t need “defending” or indoctrination to keep it safe. It doesn’t need legislation or a presence on classroom walls.
The only problem with theological truth, is that rarely is it possible to know with absolute certainty, and that’s where you’ll find more people than you expect. If this journey has taught me anything, it’s that there are vastly more people quietly questioning and doubting the veracity of these supposed “absolute truths” than many would guess.
I’ve had the fortune to speak with a number of folks who are not ready to step into deconstruction “officially.” They have seen my Instagram, read my blog, or noticed my cross-posts to Facebook. They’ve reached out with questions they are struggling with but are hesitant to discuss publicly, or even with family.
I won’t out anyone of course, but I wanted to bring this up because community matters. Realizing you’re not alone matters. If you find yourself questioning, you are in good company, even if you don’t realize it yet.
Peace & Hope
Space For Doubt 
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